Dressed for Disaster

"Having fun today, sir?"

Pat smiled and put on his best face. "Ich spreche keine Englisch." Lame, but he has used it in the past in similar situations.

"Whatever," she said with a shrug as she rang up the sale. Pat fumbled in his purse for his wallet, and pulled out four twenty-dollar bills. As she counted out his change, she noticed his torn dress and stockings. "Hey, I'm sorry, mister. Here you go."

Pat took his change and gave her a forced smile. He did not look back to see whether any of the people waiting in line had witnessed his mortification. Taking his plastic shopping bag, he walked out of the drug store and back into the bedlam on the sidewalk.

The smoke, the sirens, and the utter pandemonium shocked him. Yet in the midst of this incredible catastrophe, he had somehow managed to concentrate on his immediate predicament. Although there was panic all around him, he had no concerns about his personal safety. All he could think about was protecting his secret and preserving his reputation.

He spotted a large hotel a few blocks from where he had been staying, and approached the front entrance. There were no doormen to be seen, and he went into a large glass and brass revolving door, emerging into a lobby which was eerily calm. Several fire department officials were setting up a makeshift command post in the lobby bar, and as he walked towards the restrooms, an assistant manager approached him with a look of concern.

"Are you all right, Miss?"

Pat realized that he must look a sight. "Yes, thanks, I'm fine." Pat did not want to get into a conversation about where he was staying, and he certainly did not want to alert the hotel staff that he was about the enter the ladies' room. The incident with the clerk at the drugstore was still fresh on his mind.

"Why don't you sit down for a few minutes, and I'll find you a doctor. Those cuts look pretty nasty."

"Really, I'm fine," Pat assured the young man. Moving away, he found his way to the ladies room and walked in without hesitating. His plan was simple: change in one of the stalls, and wait until there was nobody else in the restroom before leaving it as a man.